Become
-Someone who makes things. Things I currently want to make:
No-bake cookies
A garden
A wedding video for Les Embrees
Windchimes, out of the cool-metal-tubing-from-a-broken-bookshelf that's been sitting in my house for over a year to this end
A free-book distribution center
An alarm system for my house?
Other stuff.
-Someone who others feel comfortable talking to about the things I do wrong.
The plans for this are less specific.
Hmn.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
going dark
Two reasons I've not been blogging: first, I've had big problems in several areas of my life at once. A couple have had to do with miscommunication, and these in particular make me want to hide under a rock. If people I like and respect so much can get (for instance) the message "I think you're an idiot and have no idea what you're talking about" from an expression that I made while I was feeling "I'm curious," what business do I have ever talking to anyone? It feels like my very existence is harmful to others, regardless of what I intend.
The second is time management. It's weird to accept that the most important work in my life right now is getting my health in order, but it is; get more functional, thence good things flow. Not to say I plan to stop blogging. . . just that I'll be following my usual sporadic pattern of posting when it works in my life to do so.
The second is time management. It's weird to accept that the most important work in my life right now is getting my health in order, but it is; get more functional, thence good things flow. Not to say I plan to stop blogging. . . just that I'll be following my usual sporadic pattern of posting when it works in my life to do so.
Friday, March 18, 2011
gorgeous
also way better than the originals.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep1I4xTvHRc
Edit: I tried to embed, but blogger has no love for the new wide screen youtube aspect ratio. You should watch it anyway. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep1I4xTvHRc
Edit: I tried to embed, but blogger has no love for the new wide screen youtube aspect ratio. You should watch it anyway. :)
Sunday, March 13, 2011
another disclaimer--
Lately I find that I really love swearing.
Pros:
-It's a way to express anger that doesn't actually hurt people. One might argue this point--see below.
-It's a way to express anger that doesn't train people towards physical release, the way (for instance) violence against objects does.
-It's convenient, eloquent shorthand about the fact one is involved with the dark-and-gritty side of life in some way.
-God said not to.
Cons:
-The communication aspects are usually imprecise. How seriously the audience will take it varies a lot by background and personal context. I think many people who insist on taking swearing seriously (and punishing it socially) are practicing a kind of class discrimination as well, as the words have a different meaning in working class communities where they are used constantly than they do in middle/upper class communities where they're seldom or never used.
-Some say cussing liberally in everyday life gets rid of a useful escalation phase in conflict which can offer a chance to stave off violence. This has not been my experience.
-The other argument: it does actually hurt people. If "this is the most hurtful and extreme thing I could say" is what it means, I can see that. I'd prefer that in order to say the most hurtful and extreme thing they possibly could, people should have to exercise a little intelligence and creativity. I can see that leaving this shorthand intact would be helpful to inarticulate people, in situations where they see verbal and physical violence as their only options. But--there's a victim-blamey undertone in the idea that I ought to modify my language so that someone else can feel better about not hitting me, and that pisses me off.
Thoughts, anybody? I'd really like to hear arguments on this. Not that I will, but I take a perverse masochistic pleasure in asking anyway.
Pros:
-It's a way to express anger that doesn't actually hurt people. One might argue this point--see below.
-It's a way to express anger that doesn't train people towards physical release, the way (for instance) violence against objects does.
-It's convenient, eloquent shorthand about the fact one is involved with the dark-and-gritty side of life in some way.
-God said not to.
Cons:
-The communication aspects are usually imprecise. How seriously the audience will take it varies a lot by background and personal context. I think many people who insist on taking swearing seriously (and punishing it socially) are practicing a kind of class discrimination as well, as the words have a different meaning in working class communities where they are used constantly than they do in middle/upper class communities where they're seldom or never used.
-Some say cussing liberally in everyday life gets rid of a useful escalation phase in conflict which can offer a chance to stave off violence. This has not been my experience.
-The other argument: it does actually hurt people. If "this is the most hurtful and extreme thing I could say" is what it means, I can see that. I'd prefer that in order to say the most hurtful and extreme thing they possibly could, people should have to exercise a little intelligence and creativity. I can see that leaving this shorthand intact would be helpful to inarticulate people, in situations where they see verbal and physical violence as their only options. But--there's a victim-blamey undertone in the idea that I ought to modify my language so that someone else can feel better about not hitting me, and that pisses me off.
Thoughts, anybody? I'd really like to hear arguments on this. Not that I will, but I take a perverse masochistic pleasure in asking anyway.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
return of the myface
It's such a bizarre faux-personal world. Here are some uniquely alienating things about facebook:
1) Everyone seems like they're about to be having a fascinating conversation, but they aren't. People post cool stuff they've found, and they "like" it, and then. . . maybe a pithy comment or two. And that's all. But if you're on when your friends are on, there's a steady stream of new somethings in your news stream--a constant promise that real conversation might break out. It's perpetual, promising, dissatisfaction.
2) Facebook is full of people who I find interesting, but have trouble actually connecting with at all. Facebook will keep us nominally in touch for longer and longer periods of time, but doesn't change the fact that I've no idea how to make it anything more than stupid, expectant button clicks. Imagine a parakeet throwing itself against a glass wall over and over again.
3) I get caught up in the hypnotic stream of other people's "actions," which they probably don't get any more satisfaction out of than I do. Clicking buttons--joining the right groups, "liking" the right things--feels like getting something done. Except it doesn't accomplish anything. . . so you keep observing everyone else's faux-productivity (and a little of their real productivity) and feeling worse and worse about the fact that you aren't accomplishing anything while watching them, no matter how you click.
This is why I musn't spend more than about five minutes there on any given day. If someone wants to talk to me they can send me a God-damned email. That place is distracting.
1) Everyone seems like they're about to be having a fascinating conversation, but they aren't. People post cool stuff they've found, and they "like" it, and then. . . maybe a pithy comment or two. And that's all. But if you're on when your friends are on, there's a steady stream of new somethings in your news stream--a constant promise that real conversation might break out. It's perpetual, promising, dissatisfaction.
2) Facebook is full of people who I find interesting, but have trouble actually connecting with at all. Facebook will keep us nominally in touch for longer and longer periods of time, but doesn't change the fact that I've no idea how to make it anything more than stupid, expectant button clicks. Imagine a parakeet throwing itself against a glass wall over and over again.
3) I get caught up in the hypnotic stream of other people's "actions," which they probably don't get any more satisfaction out of than I do. Clicking buttons--joining the right groups, "liking" the right things--feels like getting something done. Except it doesn't accomplish anything. . . so you keep observing everyone else's faux-productivity (and a little of their real productivity) and feeling worse and worse about the fact that you aren't accomplishing anything while watching them, no matter how you click.
This is why I musn't spend more than about five minutes there on any given day. If someone wants to talk to me they can send me a God-damned email. That place is distracting.
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