Friday, February 18, 2011

boy is gone

I'm adept at setting myself up as an object of pursuit. It's never so cold blooded while one is doing it; let me bask in your adoration. Let me distract myself with you; let me love you, in my limited, incapable, traitorous way, until the whole thing rots from the core. There is a power in being the object of unrequited love, even if it's painful and ugly, even if on some level--and eventually all levels--you hate it.

My power needs to come from somewhere else. This is not because of cruelty, although that would be enough; it's also antithetical to what I want most.

Equality or loneliness. We'll see which.

3 comments:

___________________________ said...

What did you do this time? :)

(Note: I am halfway concerned about what you are saying)

Day said...

Ah, no need to worry. I'm actually being responsible this time around, which is an encouraging change. . . My concern for not gossiping causes super-vagueness.

misssrobin said...

We all have a need to be important. It's part of being human. Sometimes, for whatever reason, we don't know how to go about finding this importance in healthy ways. This is something I've struggled with as well. It's nice to be wanted.