I'm not the sort of bear who says "I'm COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW! Now that I've had this great insight/experience/litter of kittens!" I'm pretty sure we can't escape our past selves any more than we can hang onto them.
However--I am different. There was a series of events, which you could trace back a couple of weeks or a couple of years, as you like; stupid mistakes, nightmares, visions, arguments, a realization. And now I'm different. The simplest way I have to explain it is that a year and a half of very painful therapy has very suddenly started to catch up with me and pay itself off. I'm trying to give myself some time to adjust to this, which is difficult even though the changes are good. . . I'm also trying not to assume the change is permanent, but rather, allow it to be as it is.
So.
Although I'll surely need to wallow in some doom from time to time, I'm ready to start something new--and ready to let this place go. Just to get ceremonial about it, I shall re-post a series of old entries I found while searching old writings for college-application essay material. They form a story-arc about my life for the past few years; starting with an unpublished fragment from around the time I started this blog, and ending with my application essays.
Thank you for reading. This blog has put me in contact with some delightful and though-provoking people. I've been honored to have you.
4 comments:
That sounds rather exciting!!
I didn't know you were a bear though.
As I've mentioned elsewhere, I've always felt rather piglet-esque, myself.
Hooray! Hooray, Hooray, Hooray! Which I've said before, but can't think of a better occasion to say again than right now.
=)
I love the way you're looking at things. Enjoy the change now knowing it may not last. I made the mistake of doing the opposite too many times before I learned that lesson.
Thanks for the great reminder. Focus on the now.
Good luck as you continue on with your discovery!
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