I propose a truce. You will not hurt all the time, and I will try very, very hard not to hate you. I will not get angry about how squishy you are, I will not daydream about impaling you on things, I will be excruciatingly careful with you, and I'll try to give you all the healthy delicious food, exercise, and painkillers that you need.
Sound good? Think it over. We can talk about it in the morning.