Last night's involved a werewolf ripping out my left Achilles tendon with his teeth, but I figure it's time to move on.
I got around to reading a bunch of stuff related to the Janice Allred fiasco. I've been trying and trying to write on it, but the words come out skewed. Drowning in anger, I can't find the truth and I'm not interested in writing lies.
I'm triggered by authority, which is classic. Possibly the hardest part of rape crisis training was the half-day spent on AMACs, Adults Molested As Children. We AMACs are whiny and co-dependent; we sound like people I wouldn't want to know, let alone be. There's evidence we're more susceptible to abuse and sexual assault as adults; we don't look after ourselves. Makes us targets. AMACs have huge issues with trust, attachment, and authority that can render us very hard to deal with in a crisis situation. I don't remember what else they said, I was busy trying to breathe.
Church, authority, and family were mashed together for me when I was a kid. It should surprise no one that a constant chorous of "ETERNAL FAMILY FTW! And respect your father who is your God-given priesthood leader! And families are from God! And you should obey God!" would have that effect.
It's damned inconvenient. There are plenty of logical reasons to mistrust the people and institutions in charge, without having extra-strength visceral ones too.